This week has gone by really fast and I have a lot to tell you all about, but I'm too lazy to walk back to the bunk house and get my camera to copy pictures onto my computer so you'll have to wait. :) For now I am just going to share some word vomit.
Yet again I am at an end and a new beginning is about to start. I'm honestly scared for this new school year to start for a number of reasons. It seems as if all of my plans have not been falling into place at all and my back up plans are falling apart too. I guess you could say that this new school year is going to be an adventure just like my summer has been. Isn't that what an adventure is; doing something that you aren't sure what the outcome will be? I mean mine might not be venturing through a lush jungle encountering large insects or animals that would like to have me for lunch and then being saved by a handsome man with intense vine swinging skills, but I am venturing into the unknown. I have never felt so unprepared in my life because all that I envisioned has vanished. I don't like feeling unprepared.
It was hard leaving Utah yesterday. I mean once I got back to Wyoming I was fine, but saying goodbye and knowing that this weekend I would only be home for half a day made it worse. I miss the familiar roads, my view of the mountains from the kitchen window, my little Angel who has the sweetest face that will wipe your cares away, my best friend (my mom) who is always there for me and loves me, my dad who just knows how to solve anything and his hugs that literally squeeze the blues out of you, my brothers who are growing up so fast and I don't get to watch, the canal road that I used to always walk down when I needed to think or just be alone, and dear friends that still come to visit my family even if I'm not there. I never really realize how much I miss being home until I get there, then I can't seem to leave without feeling somewhat torn inside. It was so nice to just lay in the grass in my backyard. It was peaceful letting the sun's warmth soak deep into my skin, feel the cool grass against my back, watch the cotton clouds roll by, and close my eyes to listen to the wind blow through the trees. I think I could have laid there forever. It was one of those moments where everything going on in life that seems to be closing in on you disappears and you can see the happiness and brightness all around you.
But I am going to miss RHR as well. Today was my last full day here in the "wild" country. I'm going to miss a lot here too; the dust clouds after a truck drives by, the vibrant red hills that seem to jump out at you especially as the sun is setting, the infinite amount of stars that you forget are there, the wild flowers, the silence, the Cook family, the crew, and just feeling like you are the only person on earth. But it will be fun to look back. I have met some pretty interesting people here. Like today I met an 80 year old lady who used to dance for ABT! She probably was the coolest person I've met. I also met a lady who is a journalist for The Washington Post, the physical trainer for the Bucks, and I've met a lot of people who work with the politicians in Washington, D.C.
At least I know that after the first step into the dark things get better; not easier but better. And I am incredibly blessed with wonderful people who are there to cheer me on :)