Today...well did not turn out how I planned, but maybe that was the point. I'm not exactly in control, God is.
Tonight I was trying to temporarily "cure" myself from some current "affliction" and did what a lot of girls do in our hard times. I took an emergency grocery store trip. I honestly drove right past the grocery store and kept driving until I started to feel like I was either going to run out of gas or get lost if I didn't turn around. On my way back home I actually went into the grocery store. I bought the "necessities": my favorite Aggie ice cream, peanut and pretzel M&Ms (they were on sale), Cheez-Its (also on sale), chocolate syrup, yogurt, and bread. Once I got home I climbed into my sweats, wrapped myself in my grandmother's quilt, and popped Princess Diaries (this movie can cure any of my ailments) into my laptop. It was a lonely hour and a half, but I needed it very much.
Sweet Carrie came to the rescue a little later on and sincerely listened to what was going on and did her best to comfort me and encourage me.
I honestly DON'T regret ANYTHING that I did over the past week and a half. Nothing. All of it was intentional, all of it meant something to me, and I learned so much from it all.
Alright, I'll get to the point. So driving in my car this evening I just let my mind do its job and think about everything. A line from D&C 122:7 continued to come to mind as I drove through unfamiliar cities, "...all these things shall give thee experience..." What a powerful line. If you read the whole scripture it says, "And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my [Alex], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy GOOD."
I didn't fall in a pit, I wasn't stabbed, I was no where near death, there is no body of water nearby to drown in, it was windy today but not THAT windy, the heavens should still have "pearly gates", and hell is very far from me (I hope). In fact my experience was a wonderful one. Something that I needed to see as an example of what life SHOULD be like and how I SHOULD feel. The ending of the pure happiness, unfailing smiles, constant giggles, and glowing eyes only lasted...oh a few hours. What good would it do to let it last any longer? I knew from the beginning nothing of what I wanted could really work out, but that's what time is for. Maybe it will work out longer than 10 days 4 months from now. Maybe not. As long as I stay on Christ's side I can't go wrong and I thank Him for that everyday.
So let us all keep climbing. If you stop you'll get tired and give up. If you keep going and push through all the steep and difficult times you'll reach the peak by sunset and it will all be worth the effort.