Hauntings from journals past...

(Excuse the title; just trying to get in the Halloween spirit.)

One thing that I like to do is read past journal entries. Typically I read entries from about a year before.

Tonight was one of those nights that I looked over at my collection of journals and decided to take a peek at what things were like a year ago.

Journal entry: October 26, 2011

"...there is this guy, -blank-, who has some interest in me. He is a very attractive man..."

Originally I had written up a pretty detailed story about this "very attractive man" (and I guess if you want it I can write about it), but I decided that it was better to just cut to the "chase" (bahaha-sorry my roommates are the only ones who will understand) than make you read a super long blog post.

 So there was this super attractive guy; and I mean like the kind of guy you try not to stare at as he walks by, would make you faint if he smiled too big, and would never talk to a girl like me unless I had season tickets to his favorite basketball team.Well this guy,..Mr. Gorgeous (yes I'm shallow, but we'll get to that), turned out to be interested in ME. It was probably the most bizarre and confusing thing I had ever experienced.

So like any girl, I was completely flattered at the attention and pleasantly confused. However, over a short period of time I noticed that I had lost all of that attraction and didn't care if I ever saw "Mr. Gorgeous" ever again. Dating this beautiful man was changing me in all the wrong ways. When I got ready for a date with him I focused more on what clothes I had that made me look really thin and was really fashionable (not that I had a lot to work with). I found myself constantly thinking about whether I looked thin, if my clothes seemed...well expensive enough. It just wasn't me. Ya I like to look nice for a date, but this was totally different. All of this made me look down on myself, think negatively and unrealistically.

I learned a very valuable lesson then. All that immature daydreaming of dating a super gorgeous guy that all the girls drooled over wasn't fun at all. Looks only took a potential dating relationship so far. I felt very out of place when I was around Mr. Gorgeous and his friends and that's not what I wanted.

So the point of all this...well I guess I read the short bit about it in my journal and giggled a little. But my biggest advice to you would be to be careful what you wish for. Gorgeous men are not always what they seem.

Halloween

Yesterday I was honored to have some very famous guests at my house...

 Jesse from Toy Story...

 the cutest lion I had ever seen (Simba maybe?)...

 Pocahontas...

and Woody :) 

Other guests included...

 an adorable clown who didn't want to wear her costume...

and the cutest and cuddliest bunny. 

Halloween is so much better with nieces and nephews!

Turlock, CA

Turlock, California is this cute little farming town just outside of Oakland. Last weekend I had the pleasure of visiting such a place and best of all I got to see my dear cousin after he had been gone for 2 years :) Tyler served his mission in South Africa and returned to the U.S. just a couple weeks ago.

Just a brief summary of Tyler and I, we actually didn't become good friends until about 3 years ago or maybe a little longer. He's lived in Cali my whole life and so I didn't see him much growing up. But I have to say that I am so glad he is my friend now. Visiting Tyler in Cali and listening to him talk about his mission has made me even more excited about when I get to go. Tyler has grown so much in so many ways. He was a good kid before he left and he came back a great and spiritual man.

Because it cost so much to bring any extra luggage on the flight I packed 3 days worth of stuff into my backpack. I'm surprised it didn't rip during the trip. Tips for packing light: wear what layers you can on the airplane ride, try not to buy too much on your trip, share a piece of luggage with someone and split the cost, buy mini hairspray and other products (it saves TONS of room), and don't fold your clothes-roll them up tight.

 View of Idaho from the plane. I have to admit that I pretty much acted like a 6 year old once we took off. My face print was all over the window.

 We eventually flew up into the clouds and that was probably the most beautiful view of the whole trip.

 Bayler and Camia. Aren't they adorable?!

 Tyler and I.

 Ya, we're goofs. I love it :) Miss Tyler so much!

 Grandma and Tyler. Bahaha!

Aunt Jeanine, Tyler, Uncle David, and Mallory. We missed Lauren (Tyler's other sister-my cousin) a lot; sadly she couldn't make it.

It was an awesome trip and definitely worth all the sacrifices I made :) I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Cecret Lake

Fall break was this week and it was so good to wake up and realize that I had ALL day to do whatever I wanted.

Once my lil' bro got home from school we went with my mom to Cecret Lake. I wanted a chance to take pictures of the gorgeous fall colors before they were gone. I was a little late for the really bright ones, but once we got all the way up the canyon, there were some amazing views.

 I took a ton of pictures of this blue jay but I couldn't stop from shaking so its a little blurry.

 I absolutely love quakies :) Probably my favorite to see in the fall.

 Kade found some sap :)

 Gorgeous reflection of the dark clouds in the sky.

Kade was being a goof and meditating on a rock. My mom started to cry because she was laughing so hard. Love that kid :)

I hope they call me on a mission

(I wanted to wait to share this with everyone, but I just can't hold it in any longer :D  )

I had to work during conference today and it was a real bummer. I couldn't get conference off my mind all day.

Around 9:30 a.m. I got a text from my little brother that said, "President Monson announced that guys can leave (on their missions) when they are 18 now! And girls when they're 19!" As I read the screen I almost started to cry. I KNEW that that was the answer to so many prayers.

There have been a lot of events that led me to make the decision to serve a mission. It all seemed to start this past summer. Like I mentioned in a previous blogpost (And they left me for a mission), I have a lot of girl friends leaving or on their missions. I have friends serving in Europe, Russia, Phillipines, Australia, and a lot of other places I can't think of at the moment.

Time went by after I had heard about the large group of friends leaving on missions and I didn't think much about serving myself, but I was having a lot of missionary opportunities and spending time with friends who talked about their missions often. That began to redirect my thoughts...should I go?

A dear friend left a couple weeks ago on her mission to Arizona. When I saw my friend dressed in her missionary attire, I fell to pieces; this overwhelming desire to serve and to share the Gospel swept over me. I thought again to myself, "should I really go?" But fear got in the way and I thought about how scary it would be if I got sent to a country I had never been to to speak a language that I had never heard and thrown into a culture I didn't understand.

As conference grew near I decided I needed to pick a question that had been on my mind to focus on and would hopefully be answered during conference. I fasted and didn't really feel like I got an answer. My mom and I went downtown for the General Relief Society Meeting and afterwards walked around Temple Square. We crossed paths with some sister missionaries and began to talk with them. Within minutes I knew that this wasn't going to be just a causal conversation. After chatting for a bit Sister Felsted, a sister from Atlanta, Georgia, she told me that she had prayed to see me that day. When I asked her to explain Sister Felsted told me that she loved her mission so much and wanted to meet a girl that day that was "on the fence" about serving a mission. And Sister Felsted hoped to convince this girl to go serve a mission. As I told her my thoughts about serving a mission, tears came to my eyes. While I spoke with them I could feel my face glowing with happiness and again the feeling came, that overwhelming peace and happiness, the feeling that I knew I had to act upon.

So I started to think more seriously about a mission and realized that it would be 6 months or so until I could actually hand in my papers and I had just met a great guy, Herbert. I didn't totally dismiss the idea of serving, but just set it to the side to ponder when it was closer to the time I could actually leave.

Then this morning happened. Sadly I was at work so I couldn't hear the news first hand, but I still knew, the Lord wanted me to serve.

Now I haven't officially started my papers let alone talked to the bishop about all of this, but I've taken the first step and decided what I WANT to do and what I feel is right. And hopefully in the next little while I'll have more exciting news to share with you. :)

But as of now, I've never been so happy in my entire life.

Herbert, the amazing Spiderman

Herbert is exactly what I need right now. (I'll eventually get a visual for you.) I haven't had a guy treat me so good for over a year. When you look at me you may just see a twiggy (as Uncle Keith would say) blonde, but Herbert makes me feel like so much more.
Not only does Herbert treat me like a princess, but he is sweet to his mom, which says a lot.
Herbert makes me laugh 95% of the time I'm with him, the other 5% I'm rolling my eyes.
Although he may not resemble a physical giant, it's the giant inside Herbert that truly impresses me.
And it's the little things (frequently visiting the temple, writing in a journal, constant and steady improvement) that gets me thinking, how was I lucky enough to be the one sitting next to an empty chair?

A Logan Visit

I love Logan. The beautiful trees, cool weather, infinite canyon adventures, and the "small" college town feel.

I was lucky enough to visit such a place not too long ago (I know, I know I haven't really been keeping everyone up to date). My dear friend, Krystal, was kind enough to join me, we met in Salt Lake and then were off to the land up North.

On our way we stopped in a small town just before the great Sardine and with many others of our faith, we walked through a glorious house of the Lord.

 There was a collage at the end of the tour that I loved.

In Logan, Krystal and I visited our dear friends we hadn't seen in long time. I visited some family and went to a wedding reception too.

We spent the night with the new Mrs. Cluff. 

All in all, it was worth every ridiculous amount of gas.

And even though I love Logan and miss it, I was glad to come home because I know that's where I need to be.