Happy Halloween!

If you were wondering, I'm still doing well. Thanks for...wondering.

Halloween weekend was great! I really wish that Halloween was on Friday or Saturday instead of on a Monday though. I honestly miss helping hand out candy and watching Wait Until Dark and Arsenic and Old Lace with my brothers, but it was still fun celebrating the holiday here in Logan.

Friday I went on a date with a guy that I had no idea was even interested in me, so that was a pleasant surprise! I also set up two of my cousins, Sam and Charlie, with some of my friends and luckily they all had a good time, well we all had a good time. We all went to the Haunted Labs up on campus, its like a haunted house just in the Engineering Research Lab. I am very jumpy and even jumped when a camera man was standing behind me. Luckily my date didn't mind me grabbing onto his arm for "protection" when I got nervous.

Saturday was epic as well. I got some homework done and then went shopping for jeans with Jacob (neighbor). I got lucky and found some for an amazing price, but I have to say that my DI find Friday afternoon was even better. My cousins and I had just finished lunch at an Indian restaurant here in Logan and they were off to find some tacky Halloween costumes so I decided to join them.

I found this backpack...

...for a dollar :D Yes just ONE American dollar and its genuine leather. I love it.

So back to Saturday. I found jeans and then we went to watch Brittney perform. She is on USU's My Bad  dance team and was performing during the annual Halloween party, the Howl. Jacob and I both weren't going to the Howl so Brittney invited us to watch her dance right before the Howl started. The theme was something like a creepy carnival so everyone dressed up as creepy clowns for the dance. I liked the dance for the most part but its hard to just sit back and enjoy a performance since I have been dancing for so long because I just critique everything. 

Ya... I didn't even recognize her at first. It was cool.

And then to discuss today. Today was awesome! After hearing President Monson speak for Regional Stake Conference I went to a missionary fireside at the institute. The conversion stories and music was phenomenal. I cried when the choir sang Come Thou Fount; the Spirit was just so strong I couldn't hold it in. That fireside was just what I needed. Lately Satan has really been working on me by putting negative thoughts about the Gospel in my head and there have been times when I have thought about if I KNOW the church is true. Well I can assure you that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true and the song helped confirm that. The times when I am the happiest is when I am living by the teachings of the church and doing my best to keep the covenants I make.

Halloween isn't over, but I figured I'd give you an update. 

P.S. I forgot to tell you about FHE the other night. Jacob, Daniel, Brittney, and I carved an awesome pumpkin!

The picture came off of my phone so its not fabulous but it works.

Immediate Answers

I've been guilty of praying for immediate patience on more than one occasion, I'm guilty of being frustrated because I can't see the road ahead of me clearly, and I often complain about my situation even though deep down I know the solution or the source to what will help me be happier.
Yet again I have come to a crossroads. Actually everyday for the past while I have awoken with a crossroads that was once easy to take on. Some mornings I fight in bed, deciding whether or not to even wake up and go to class or my meeting or whatever it might be. More than once I have given into Satan's whisperings and crawled back into a ball under my warm covers to hide myself from all the difficulties and challenges in life.
I went to the temple today on kind of a spur of the moment in between two of my classes. I was hoping for some miraculous peace or an answer, but came home with just the impression that I've received so many times before; "everything is going to turn out okay." My temple visit was a bit of a selfish one. I tried with all my might to focus on the names of the women that I was being confirmed and baptized for, but I could only think of all the road blocks I have been experiencing and, in some cases, probably creating. I looked back to the beginning of September when I felt like life was falling apart, but I seemed to find true happiness so much easier and thought about why I was having such a hard time now. Why was I not interested in the things I usually loved to do? What was wrong with me? I was reading my scriptures, going to church, going to institute, trying to be friendly, practically doing everything I had always been doing, BUT I wasn't doing them whole heartedly, I was just dragging myself through it all, putting on a face like everything was okay. Its funny though because it took me a while to realize this and it will take me a while to realize this every time this happens.

Yet again my prayers have been heard and once I was ready to hear the answer, it came...well just a little bit of it. I was supposed to go to a poetry reading but my friend said that we should try next month and it opened up a time that my visiting teachers wanted to come over and I knew that they were my answer. One of my visiting teachers talked about a BYUI devotional she watched the other day that greatly helped her in her life and I decided to watch it once they left. It was exactly what I needed. In fact I listened to parts of it twice or three times because they were so powerful to me. It not only helped relieve me in stressing over school degrees, but just worrying about the future.

http://www.byui.edu/Presentations/Transcripts/Devotionals/2011_10_18_Wilkins.htm

There are no immediate answers in life. Its like what Elder Bednar talked about answers coming like a sunset, a little at a time, and my mom telling me just to worry about a day at a time.

I guess I need to start writing my blessings for each day because once I begin to forget all that I have I start to let Satan in little by little whispering to me all that I don't have and all that I am not. I am truly blessed. I have my two neighbors, Jacob and Daniel, that have literally become family to me. Brittney and I do something with them every week just as friends. They honestly care and are so willing to help me. I have Brittney, the "girlfriend" I have never really felt like I had, someone I can be a complete idiot with and is more than willing to join in with me. I have a mom who is always worrying about me and making sure that I am okay, helps me financially even though I am an adult and should be taking care of myself. And then there are those acquaintances, you know the people you kind of know or meet one day and never see again, but say something so profound you swear they know everything about you. And last but certainly not least, I have a Savior that I am coming to know a little more everyday. A man I really don't feel like I have begun to know until this year. I feel like I have always had a good relationship with Heavenly Father, but with Christ it has been different and I know I can't get any closer to Heavenly Father until I truly know Christ. I know that the people in my life have been placed there to help me.

I know, with all of my heart, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only thing that can bring anyone true and everlasting happiness.

So if you're not happy, I challenge you to start on your quest today. And as my friend Justin told me today, "When you receive a prompting don't wait. Act on it...and smile."

Unbeatable Breaks

So last weekend was Utah State's Fall Break. Did I catch up with sleep? Did I do school work? Did I exercise? Did I clean? Was I productive at all? Nope. But I did accomplish the main focus of what 'break' means to me. I did whatever I wanted. Again, I didn't spend enough time with my family, but hopefully this time I really learned my lesson.
My break was crazy! I did a million things! Thursday night I watched Sherlock Holmes with friends and family, Friday I hung out with my family and two of my nieces, and before Brittney and I went to a wedding reception we visited a house built just five minutes from my house that is supposed to be identical to the house from the movie UP.

Obviously not all of the rooms could be the same from the movie because the movie doesn't show all of the rooms but they made the mantel the same!
I also went to the dentists that morning and they found my first cavity! It was just a baby one, but boy did the numbing stuff last a long time. The left side of my mouth didn't function for hours and hours, I couldn't even smile normally!

Go ahead, you can laugh at me. I did! :)

After the wedding reception Brittney and I met up with Layten and went to Thanksgiving Point where the three of us went crazy! It was like going back to childhood; hayrides, tractor rides, corn mazes, bounce houses, and more. Afterwards we had a fire and roasted mallows.
Saturday Brittney left me for her home further south and I helped my neighbors with some yard work (I probably should have helped my own family with work but it never occurs to me until after the fact), went to the temple with my little brother, and then went on my first motorcycle ride! That was probably the highlight of my weekend. We rode up close to the foot of the mountains to see all the trees that were changing colors, it was incredible. I am so excited to go on another ride but it probably won't be for a really long time.
Sunday was amazing as well. It was my family's regional conference and I have to say that the broadcast of Elder Bednar's talk was my favorite. He did such a great job and touched on some points that I needed to hear. (I am off to work soon or I would go into detail.)

I still haven't quite figured out why I am in such a weird mood and have hardly any desire to do anything I am normal interested in, but I'm working on it. I figured updating my blog, somewhat, would be nice especially since this weekend, being Halloween, will be pretty epic.

I have been taking a few pictures here and there for the past couple weeks of things that catch my eye.
Enjoy :)

I wish so badly that I could capture the breathtaking beauty of Logan during the fall with all of the leaves changing and falling off the trees. They are everywhere.

I Believe That We Will Win!

I know, another post, but I am so behind in telling you all the exciting stuff that has been going on in my life!

Last weekend was General Conference and boy was it amazing! Like I have said before, I didn't feel like there was any talk in particular that answered any of my prayers but the experience as a whole was one that has greatly blessed me life.

First there was the Relief Society Meeting. I have never felt so apart of something than that meeting. I knew I was supposed to be there! I was so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing women. They seemed to flood into the conference center and you could feel the excitement all around you.

During General Conference there I was something that came to me that I had never really realized. There is so much work that goes into General Conference twice a year. In Institute Choir (the one time I went) the instructor told us how the music is separately inspired from the talks. The music directors have no idea what the speakers are going to talk about, they are completely dependent on the Lord on what music to have during conference just like the speakers are dependent on the Lord to know what they should share with members from all around the world. This is God's church! He is the head of it and He loves all so much that He gives us leaders to "put together" a meeting twice a year to give us guidance as to how to come closer to Him. What an amazing Father we have!

I will admit that I get a little sleeping during conference and in the past I haven't tried as hard as I could to stay awake, but this year was different. I did not fall asleep or close my eyes for a second! There was no way that I could sleep during someone's talk or a song that could potentially be an answer to my prayers or miss any direction that Heavenly Father was giving me. I know I can always go back and read conference or watch it but there is just something so special about watching it live.

When President Monson spoke to us I was overwhelmed by his love. It was hard when President Hinckley died, but this time when President Monson stood up and spoke to us I knew that he was a prophet of God and called to guide us to our Heavenly Father. I love that man!

This week continued to be epic! I went country dancing, watched movies, played games and did school work of course! Institute was especially amazing. In one of my classes we talked about Jessie Evans Smith. There is a quote by her that I absolutely love, "Happiness isn't always doing what you want to do. Sometimes it's doing what you don't want to do and being glad you did." I am super excited for this coming week because we will be talking about the life of Sister Hinckley! Studying on virtue in my scriptures I came across Proverbs 12:4 which told me that the greatest thing I can give to my husband is to be a virtuous woman just like all of the women of the church that I have been learning about.

Sunday after conference I went with some new friends up to Tony's Grove, just up the canyon, where we had dinner. It was beautiful and testified, yet again, of God's love for His children.

The colors are beginning to change! I love fall :)

And the last thing that I will share with you is something that is close and dear to my heart, Aggie football. Last night I went to my first Aggie football game! I didn't get to go last year because I worked on game nights but this year I will be able to go to several, hopefully. It was so much fun to be surrounded by fellow Aggies and cheer for our football team. I love school spirit! One of the beginning cheers was one that is just simply, "I believe that we will win!" And we just continue to chant that over and over again. But something occurred to me about the phrase, "I believe that we will win." We shouldn't just have that attitude when we go to sporting events, but just about life in general. We should be shouting that from the rooftops, cheering on our brothers and sisters as we all battle Satan and the evil all around us. We should all stand united and shout for joy when God's children win battles and be there to continue to support each other when we come a little short. Imagine how much stronger we would all be if we could be that united as we are at a football, soccer, baseball, basketball, rugby, or volleyball game! But in a way that's how I feel conference kind of is. Its our pep talk before we go back to life to face war again.

After every touchdown a group of boys would toss someone in the air for every point we had. This is my friend, but when I volunteered to be tossed we had 50-something points. It was so scary and so fun at the same time to be thrown into the air so many times!

I believe that we will win! I believe that we will win! I believe that we will win!
We did and we will.

I am a precious daughter of the most wonderful Father. He loves me so much and I KNOW that. I know that He hears my prayers and answers them in the way that I will learn the most from. I know that He cares about me and so He appoints prophets to receive revelation to share with us, His children, so that we might know what it is we need to do to grow closer to Him and when our time is up, return to His open arms. Return home. I know that Christ is the one who made it possible for me to return home and that He loves me as well. I know that I was sent at this time for a great purpose, to make a difference if I seek the right guidance and act on it. I know that there are wonderful things to come in my life even if I can't see it now.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I want the world to know it too.

A Prophet's Voice

GAH! Conference was so amazing! I am so excited for tomorrow too. The four hours just flew by so fast, I was so surprised. Something I noticed is that the speakers mentioned charity and serving our fellow men a lot. I honestly can't pick a favorite speaker from today, but I can say that I love President Monson. Today he didn't speak to us for very long but his talk stood out to me. For the first time I REALLY felt like he was a prophet of God. Its not like I never believed he was but I didn't feel that connection to him like I did with President Hinckley, but now I do.

Before conference I had a lot of questions to hopefully have answered and although conference isn't over, I didn't feel like I got anything really answered. I was a little disappointed, but then I read an email that Jake, my brother, sent me that had some quotes in it and those held some powerful answers to my questions.

 

“It is a serious thing, to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.”

 - C. S. Lewis

 

“It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.”

 - Gordon B. Hinckley

 

“As we got closer to marriage, I felt completely confident that Gordon loved me. But I also knew somehow that I would never come first with him. I knew I was going to be second in his life and that the Lord was going to be first. And that was okay. It seemed to me that if you understood the gospel and the purpose of our being here, you would want a husband who put the Lord first.”
 - Marjorie Pay Hinckley

The Lord works in ways we don't expect and I'm just one step closer to healing, but it seems like I've made a large step. My life is in His hands and now I can't go wrong.