The Lord's Mysteries

I definitely believe that the Lord works in mysterious ways. It, of course, ends up being the best way to learn and grow but always a mystery. One "mystery" I've kind of figured out is how I receive answers to prayers. Sometimes the Lord doesn't give me an answer at all. Really, that's how it is sometimes. It's not that He doesn't want to direct me, but its more that He knows I can eventually figure it out "on my own". Saying this now I realize that the Spirit probably plays a part in this "realization", but its not the usual prompting that I can definitely distinguish as the Spirit's soft whisper. God gave us a brain and I'm pretty sure that He gave it to us for us to use as much as we can.
Talking about the Lord's mysteries I think I've made another discovery. I think dating, for me, has come in different "phases". I meet an awesome guy and it doesn't work out how I would like so I get a little greedy and go looking for a "relationship" to meet my selfish needs and I don't necessarily look at the big picture. Then I get to the point where I know that the way I am dating and who I am dating isn't the best option so then I go to the next extreme and look for that guy that will be the kind of father I want for my kids, someone who will make a good living, and fits well with my family and my parents really like. Not that these things are bad, but I just look for how this guy is going to effect everything, but me. And it just goes in circles. Well I'm breaking the cycle! I want a man who will set the example I want for my future children and has the potential to be a great leader in the church, but I also want a man who makes me happy, gives me butterflies, will be frugal but still buy me flowers every once in a while, is very sweet and chivalrous, but is most definitely a man. I want that happy medium. My mom told me something interesting the other day about how it's important to marry a man who will be a great father and priesthood holder in my future home, but being in love is just as important because I'm going to be married to him for a loooooooong time. So I guess what I'm saying is that as amazing and perfect a guy might be I still need chemistry.
Reading this you may all be thinking, "well duh Alex!" but I just came to realize this recently and I thought I would share :) I guess I really didn't know what I wanted until now. Actually, I probably still don't really KNOW what I want and need, but there is someone who does and luckily we're pretty good friends ;)

Introducing Spiritual Hunk

Everyone, this is someone you might know as "Spiritual Hunk". (photo is from our date last night up Rose Canyon) When we took this photo I didn't realize that he was going for the whole goofy picture thing, but I'm glad we finally took a picture of the two of us together.

Anyway so this is the photo I've been wanting to share.

Oh! My little brother is home from selling security systems! So fun! Its good to have him home.

Updates!

I just realized how much I haven't shown ya'll about how fantastic my summer has been! Sadly enough I still don't have a photo of the one thing I want to show you the most, but we'll get to that hopefully by the end of the week. ;)

Soon after Jake left to sell security systems we had a family reunion. Love my cousins :)

 Uncle Laird and Katie

 Lauren and Grandma

 Mom and Daddy <3

 Oh and I turned 20! Lots of candles and delicious cake.

 While taking a weekend vacation I visited Logan and my dear friend, Amy. We're such goofs :)

 Rexburg was fun. Bumped into some old friends. Love these girls!

 My aunt and uncle's garden was so inspiring. So many beautiful things to see (and take pictures of).

 This is Nora and she is adorable. Got to see Kip and Alisha too, obviously. It was so good to see them!

 Took pictures of Devin, Maury, and the girls. :)

 Isaac at my OTHER family reunion. He is such a cutie!

 And the most recent thing, PAINT TWISTER! Epic is probably not a good enough word. It was a blast. This is before....

 My wardies. They're great.

 And this is after :)

 Miss Alyssa is wonderful.

 Swedish twister was fun too. Can't tell from this photo but this game is definitely up close and personal.

Me and Miss Alyssa. Yet again, evidence that I'm just weird.

Definitely have to say that this summer as been great so far and I look forward to it getting even better!

Dear Boys,

Dear Josh Turner,

Whenever you feel like serenading some random girl, feel free to call.

-I think you're awesome :)



Dear Spiritual Hunk,

Honestly I don't know where to begin... You continue to surprise me and I like it. I've never had so much fun going through an I-SPY book. You should definitely get an award for that too ;) And you said yes to the family reunion?! Wow, you are a brave soul.

Sincerely,
I hope my family doesn't scare you.



Dear "other" boys,

Sorry, but you honestly don't stand a chance.

Sincerely,
"almost" taken



Dear desperate customer,

I don't think that you realized that I was a decade younger than you when you asked me out. Either way its just awkward. 

Sincerely,
creeped out

Summer's peak

I will confess, some pretty awesome stuff has been happening lately. I'm a little too excited about it to tell you about it yet. I'm waiting to see how this weeks go and then maybe I'll feel "safe" enough to give you the epic details. Just know that I'm getting up early tomorrow (like 5:30 a.m.) for yet another adventure with someone pretty incredible.

... Have a fabulous holiday!

Dear Boy,

(Yes, I only have one boy to write to tonight.)

Dear Spiritual Hunk,

I honestly didn't think a public wish could come true! You responded a lot quicker than I expected and I'm so glad you did. I'm glad my first impression of you was confirmed as your true self again today (I've honestly been anticipating the disappointment). I am so impressed with you! And I can't believe we have yet another date tomorrow (which is actually today because it's like 2:30 a.m.). Talking on the porch steps was probably the best part of our date. Keep bringing all the awesomeness!

-Your awaiting Sleeping Beauty

The rain just makes you appreciate the sunshine more.

...I definitely believe that. Its the whole concept of the more pain you feel gives you the capacity and ability to feel more love and appreciate it. Now in the literal way, I LOVE the rain! The past few weeks of random rain has been fantastic.

Anyway, there has been a lot of things that I've always known throughout my life and that my parents have been trying to drill into my head that have finally solidified with my own testimony. Some of those things are:

• that "friend" who "stepped over the line" doesn't deserve my time. That might sound mean or extreme, but I don't believe its wise to spend time with someone who brings you down.
• even though I'm not perfect I deserve the best. Now that doesn't mean that I can just be lazy and try not to improve myself, but I do deserve to date and later marry a guy who -as a sweet temple worker once told me- "treats me like the queen I am going to become".
•  oh and the temple! I love that place. But a trend I have noticed in my life is that it is so much easier to withstand temptation when I am consistently going to the temple.
• and of course I've learned about dating. A friend once told me that its like feast and famine. I'm not always going to have my weekends full of fun activities with guys. I have to rely on the Lord to make me happy and help me to know what to do with all the time I have while I'm still single.
• Our Father in Heaven loves all of us. That has been confirmed to me many times in my life but especially in the past few years. He has a plan for all of us and wants the best for us. Now the biggest thing I've learned is that that plan is never going to be how we imagine it to be. That doesn't mean that our "plans" are bad, but Heavenly Father KNOWS what is best for us. I am surprised so much as how life seems to have it's twist and turns from what I thought would really happen to the point that you would think it would stop surprising me.
• And another great thing I've learned is that the best decision is always the hardest. It could be something as simple as never telling even a "small" lie to standing up for what you believe in if that means defending your beliefs at work or breaking up with someone because you just know its the right thing to do. 
• And the thing that I've learned that probably scares me the most is that I have greater potential than I could ever imagine. I have the capability to do so many things that I never thought I could do, its just all about my attitude and perspective. Heavenly Father has a wonderful future planned for me and I have a lot to improve on to make it through those experiences and I have my doubts sometimes that I can't do some things, but deep down I know I can I just have to push myself (which, as we all know, is easier said than done).
• One last thing, moving back home has probably been the best thing for me for this time in my life. It has helped define me and remind me of who I really wanted to be. Thank goodness that I have loving parents that would let me move home. 

What have you learned from life?

Dearest boys,

Dear Seuss Contemporary,

Not sure I know what to say. I think you're great! I'm just guessing that you're super busy and that's why I haven't heard from you about our next date you called me about.

- sincerely, not sure...


My dear Spiritual Hunk,

(Yes I got that vibe from you today.) You definitely get the best blind date award. Thanks for an awesome night out on the lake. I really hope I hear back from you soon. There's just something different about you that I'm drawn to.

- "glowing"

Dear dear boys,

Dear Seuss Contemporary,

Call me already! We both know you want to. Well I sure hope you do. If you really are interested, you're showing it in a very interesting way. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd love to continue to get to know you and trust me you're the first guy in a while that I've honestly felt that way.

- waiting impatiently


 ya, that's about it. :)

Blind dates reveal!

Okay so for those who are actually curious about how my blind dates went, this one's for you.

Mr. Logan-Rexburg-St.Anthony man (we'll call him...TDH short for tall, dark, and handsome) turned out to be a great guy! My hunch was right and the date went pretty good. Being a blind date and everything made things a little rough but TDH was very friendly so it helped me come out of my shell pretty easily too (well thats not hard to do in the first place). We had a great time at Logan's zoo. I got to meet his sister as well and she was very nice. Honestly if he asked me out again I would totally go but my prediction of that happening is 35%- unlikely. There were a lot of qualities that I liked about TDH:

• returned missionary
• wants to remain sensitive to language, violence, etc by watching and listening to good stuff
• kind
• friendly
• gentlemanly
• active member of the church
• and from what I hear, he comes from a great family
• Oh...and he drives a truck ;)

I only took pictures of animals on our date and none of them turned out so I have nothing to show you visually. Sorry! Although...TDH did take a picture of the two of us with his phone... I think his family was just as curious about finding out how the date went as my family has been- well my mom at least. :)


So the other date. We'll call him...Giraffe Sandwich :) Yup. I met up with my cousin and his girlyfriend and Giraffe Sandwich in Idaho Falls and I bet you can guess where we ended up going. To the ZOO! You would think its like a sign or something. Anyways, it was pretty fun. My cousin was a bit of a distraction and I have to admit I probably wasn't the best date. *note to self: going on blind double dates with family or friends may not always work out like it has in the past* It was still really fun I just didn't get to know my date very well. I do, however, have pictures from this date.

 This is my cousin, Sam, and his girlfriend. LOVE them! Super fun couple :)

 This is me and Giraffe Sandwich. By the way, the tiger statue we were sitting on was really, really hot hence the expression on my face. I PROMISE I don't always look that way.

Giraffe Sandwich:

• I assume he has been on a mission... (ya I was a terrible date...)
• Member of the church
• kind
• funny
• Family friend (that's always a plus :) )

So ya- it was a fun weekend of dates, but nothing too promising. Honestly, I really, really, really, really want Seuss Contemporary to ask me on another date. My opinion on that happening in the future is probably... 50% or maybe 65% on a really good day. If he doesn't ask me out again its okay. We living very far away from each other once I start school in the Burg (Rexburg). Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Well I have to go to work. Hope ya'll have a fabulous 4th of July!! God bless America!